Statistics & Encouragement

Silencing Society's Screams

Statistics & Encouragement

    Low self-esteem is real. It's a powerful thing that causes women to feel bad about who they are and how they look. It is a thinking disorder that causes women to feel they are inadequate and unworthy. 

Let's take a look at a few statistics.

   Research by the Dove Company provided these surprising statistics: 

•    6 in 10 girls stop doing what they love because they feel bad about their looks.
•    Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful (up from 2% in 2004)
•    Only 11% of girls globally are comfortable using the word beautiful to describe themselves
•    72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful
•    80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty
•    More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own beauty critic.

       SOURCE: Dove Research: The Real Truth About Beauty: Revisited - http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/Self-Esteem-Statistics.aspx

Image Source - http://hypnosisresults.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/bigstock-overcoming-feelings-of-inadequ-20358527.jpg

Another 2010 study by the Girl Scouts of the USA and The Dove Self-Esteem Fund reveals:

• 81% of girls would rather see "real" or "natural" photos of models than touched up, airbrushed versions, yet 47% say fashion magazines give them a body image to strive for.
• 63% of girls think the body image represented by the fashion industry is unrealistic and 47% think it is unhealthy, yet 60% say that they compare their bodies to fashion models.
• 48% wish they were as skinny as the models in fashion magazines, and 31% of girls admit to starving themselves or refusing to eat as a strategy to lose weight.

SOURCE: http://www.nyc.gov/html/girls/html/issues/issues.shtml#5

I really recommend this article to read over. A lot of truths and statistics revealed within it.

  These statistics given show proofs of how the model and beauty industry effect women and young girls. By these unrealistic standards that society screams creates a low self-esteem for girls who feel they can never reach that standard.

 Another eye opener is the theory that low self-esteem is also linked to violent behavior such as cutting themselves, drug and alcohol abuse and eating disorders. As well as school dropout rates, teenage pregnancy, suicide and low academic achievement.

  You can read more on this here: http://www.nyc.gov/html/girls/html/issues/issues.shtml#5

Image Source - http://clarkchronicle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/body-image-statistics_51a8b6cb56b6a_w1500.jpg

  These are all alarming statistics, especially with how early it begins to effect young girls. 

  From my own personal experience, I remember when I was in Kindergarten. I was sitting in the lunchroom with my classmates, cracking up with my friends Taylor and Samantha. Out of the blue one of them turned to me and whispered, "You're kind of fat, you know that?"

  I kind of laughed and shrugged it off, but my heart stopped. I was young, I never looked in the mirror and thought I was fat. Or even skinny, for that matter. That's not a subject that a child of that age should have to ponder. I just saw me. A little brunette girl who loved to smile!

  Looking back, I realized that is when a majority of my insecurities began. I remember the next morning getting on the school bus and adjusting the hem of my clothes, sucking in my tummy when someone got on the bus and then releasing it when when they passed and sat in their seats.

  Why do we accept what society sees us as? I was not an obese Kindergartner and I had no need to feel insecurity at that age. At that age, the most my worries should have been was catching cooties from ole Billy or something silly like that.

  I remember the fearless, confident, spunky girl that I was back then. This journey is going to help me find her again. I'm tuning out the screams of society and listening for that young voice that held a confident view on life.

  With that being said, I'm pretty excited about how things are happening right now. My confidence is already beginning to heal. My husband called me beautiful today, as he always does. The difference this time, instead of arguing, I gave him the biggest smile. I know that this challenge will not be easy for me. But sweet moments like that make my heart soar!

  As I know there will be days when I feel down and miserable in the future, I wanted to make a list of encouraging phrases and motivation to help me continue this journey to learn to accept and love myself. I want to share this with you as well.

I AM:

•   A Daughter of the King: "For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus." - Galatians 3:26 KJV
• God-fearing: "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." - Proverbs 30:31
• Steadfast in the Love of Christ: "What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?   He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?  Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.   Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.   Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakeness, or peril, or sword?  As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.  Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.  For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,  Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:31-39 KJV
• Redeemed: "In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to his riches in grace;" - Ephesians 1:7 KJV
• A Masterpiece: "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalms 139:11 KJV
• Worth Far More than Rubies: "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10 KJV
• Loved: "For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.  For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.  But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:6-8 KJV

    "YOU are not too fat or too skinny. You are not too old or too wrinkly. Your nose isn't too big and your boobs aren't too small. You are not ugly or stupid. This body of yours, no matter what shape or size, has carried you around your whole life. It's taken you places, enabled you to explore the world. Picked you up when you've fallen down. Fought through colds and flu, broken bones and broken hearts. Even though you put it down, it keeps on going. Keeps on working the best it can. Through the good and the bad, your heart has kept beating. It will take you through to the very end. What a clever thing it is. What a brilliant, beautiful person you are."  - Source: http://beautyisinside.com/2012/12/you-are-not-too-fat-or-too-skinny/

    
    
     
  These are just a few encouraging words I wanted to share with you. I will keep adding encouragement to the best of my abilities as I continue with this blog. I pray each of you benefit from this and that it ministers to your heart.



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Suggested Reads: 

   Facts and Statistics on Low Self-Esteem:

  11 Facts about Teens and Self-Esteem: http://www.crisistextline.org/11-facts-about-teens-and-self-esteem/

 Statistics on Girls & Women's Self-Esteem, Pressures and Leadership: http://www.heartofleadership.org/statistics/

 Low Self-Esteem: http://www.simplypsychology.org/self-esteem.html

 Surprising Self-Esteem Statistics: http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/Self-Esteem-Statistics.aspx

  

Silencing Society's Screams: Blog Introduction

  Mission: Silence Society's Screams.
  This has become a new journey of mine. I have challenged myself to ignore the way society views beauty; instead, I'm going to learn how to accept my flaws. And not only accept them, but with God's help; embrace them. 
  As you can imagine, this will not be an easy task for me. I'm a young girl that has been so tuned in to what society screams, that the very idea of going against the grain feels like thrusting myself into a situation completely unknown. And I don't know the outcome.
  I imagine it's almost like skydiving.
  In that moment you jump from that plane, you are solely trusting on one thing. That the parachute will open and you will land safely. Your feet leave the edge of the plane where you know you are safe and suddenly you're falling into the unknown. The noise, the pressure, the view; everything changes in that very moment. It's scary. It's thrilling. It's an unforgettable rush. And not only that, but it's beautiful.

                 Image from http://7-themes.com/6881767-skydiving-wallpaper.html

 That is how this new journey feels for me. I've sat in this plane that's guided me from one fad attempt to the next. This atmosphere is natural to me. I feel safe there. But I'm missing out on the joy of loving who I am. I've played the part of a person that isn't even remotely close to who I truly am. I've changed my hair, my clothes... I've done workouts to try to become a skinny girl who would be accepted as someone beautiful... But the outcome stayed the same. 
  I stayed disgusted with my appearance. I wouldn't dare look a single person in the eyes for the fear that I would catch glimpse of their ill thoughts toward me. I was insecure, lonely and striving for acceptance. And I would stop at nothing to get it.
  Sound familiar? This mindset is the norm for many people in this day in age. We all strive to fit in and reach this impossible standard that society has brought before us. The perfect figure, teeth, hair... Everything has to be this masterpiece of perfection.
  Research shows the effect that advertising in the fashion and beauty industries has on women. Advertisements of unrealistic images of beauty via photo-shopped images and computer-inhanced models has left women feeling inadequate. It has resulted in anxiety, low self-confidence and self-esteem.
  This has not only damaged women's comprehension of the definition of beauty, but it's also robbed them billions of dollars in attempt to keep up with all of the costly fads and cosmetics. 
  This is more than just a struggle for mature women. It's also being forced upon our daughters and younger generations. Starting at a young age, girls are pressured to experiment with makeup to try to "boost" their attractiveness. This usually works as a temporary increase in their "attractiveness." It's a very appealing theory to most women because it can be quickly applied and tends to be inexpensive compared to more drastic measures other women take. Such as diets, exercise and cosmetic surgeries. Cosmetics are an 'easy way' to measure up to standards of beauty enforced by the screams of society.
  Society's screams have caused many young girls and women to face depression and even develop health issues such as eating disorders. This brings forth an unhealthy habit of starving their body of nutrients so that they can look at their body in the mirror with a warped pleasure of what the meaning of beauty is.
  A report released from by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reveals that the suicide rate in women and young girls steadily continues to climb. While the reasons are not specified, the numbers are alarming.

You can read about that here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/05/suicide-rate-
girls_n_6813068.html And here: http://www.scienceworldreport.com/articles/23093/20150307/suicide-rates-among-girls-young-women-alarmingly-increasing.htm
   
  Another terrifying reality is that low self-esteem and domestic violence go hand-in-hand in most cases. Where a low self-esteem is present, it manifests an acceptance for abuse. One article states: 

"Contrary to popular belief, in order to tolerate domestic violence one has to already have had low self-esteem. It is reasonable to think that persons with low self-esteem tend to have chaotic relationships. Their subconscious belief of unworthiness leads to the avoidance of those who truly care; instead gravitating to chaotic relationships that leave them deeply psychologically and developmentally scared–greatly hampering the building and maintenance of healthy relationships.

Belongingness and knowing that one is loved are basic needs of all people. Persons with low self-esteem are insecure and their self images are often clouded by inaccurate information from their abusers. They base their decision-making on such misinformation in an attempt to satisfy their overwhelming need for their abuser’s approval. Unfortunately, too often people with low self-esteem choose partners who are similar to those from whom their low self-esteem originated."                                                         - http://bknation.org/2013/10/domestic-violence-self-esteem/

  However, self-esteem cannot fight off abuse alone. Even women with high self-esteem can be greatly affected by domestic violence. But it's likely a woman with a better self-image will have the confidence to leave a situation where there is abuse. 
  Whereas women with low self-esteem feel they cannot do better than the situation they are in. This obviously makes them far less likely to leave the relationship. They lack the confidence to stand up for themselves and end up staying in a deadly situation.
  Study on behaviors of domestic violence offenders show that they tend to prey on women who have a low self-esteem, acknowledging that the victim will want and need them no matter what they do to them. This is an incredibly dangerous situation on all  accounts and the idea of it terrifies me. It makes me ache for those who face situations like this. 
  


 I'm going to step out of my comfort zone here. I'm going to be completely honest and vulnerable with you. The past few months, I've fought a violent depression due to my view on my appearance. I've seen all of these movie stars and models who have these bodies so highly praised by the media, then I look at my body.
 Pale, pudgy, ordinary. I've let society's screams warp my definition of what beauty is. I've fought and failed to try to reach those impossible standards of what society will accept as beautiful. I've faced the rejection and the judging glares. I've been left alone and felt like giving up on everything.
  All until God changed my perspective. 
  This morning when I looked in the mirror, I muted the way society thinks of my appearance and I tried to catch a glimpse of how God sees me. I prayed that He would help open my eyes to truth on how I should perceive myself. And when I met my reflection, I nearly burst into tears.
  Good tears.
  It was a funny sight, I imagine. My hair was frizzy and defying gravity, my face was red from how I slept on it, my eyes were droopy and encircled with dark shadows. It was in that moment it felt like someone wrapped their arms around me and whispered in my ear...
  You're beautiful.
  This society wouldn't accept how I looked in that moment. I would've been viewed as an imperfect mess. Yet, God not only accepted me in that moment... But He wrapped me in His love and gave me comfort. 
  You should have seen the smile that spread across my face!
  
  This caused me to challenge myself. If this perfect God can accept me, in all of my "flaws" and insecurities, why can't I? What gives society the right to rob me of the joy of being the person God created me to be? I've allowed society's screams to overpower the positive voices that tried to break through to me for so many years. 
  So, as I begin this challenge, I also extend the challenge to you. Look in the mirror, pray for God to open your eyes to see the beautiful, perfect person you are! Those "flaws" that society scream negatively about, God gave you. He doesn't make mistakes. 
  Those freckles that spread across your nose that you hate so much, He gave you. Those brown eyes you just can't stand, He gave you. All of the things that you reject because it doesn't line up with society's standards, He gave you.
  So I pray as you join me on this journey, that our eyes be opened to the truth that we are perfect in God's eyes. We aren't unworthy of love. We won't always feel lonely. We don't have to spend our lives chasing after society's standards. 
  We will learn how to accept ourselves. We will learn to love our "flaws."
  We will know a happiness that no make-up, diet or exercise could ever give.
  We will look in the mirror with joyful tears and a smile that shines brighter than the sun at the realization... 
  We are beautiful.

                Image source - https://nothingbutdollsonstrings.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/girl-with-obscured-face.jpg

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Suggested Reads: 

1. The Beauty Industry's Influence on Women in Society - http://scholars.unh.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1085&context=honors
2. The Impact of the Media on Eating Disorders in Children and Adolescents - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2792687/ 
3. Domestic Violence and Low Self-Esteem - http://womensissues.about.com/od/domesticviolence/a/DomesticViolenceSelfEsteem.htm