Mission: Silence Society's Screams.
This has become a new journey of mine. I have challenged myself to ignore the way society views beauty; instead, I'm going to learn how to accept my flaws. And not only accept them, but with God's help; embrace them.
As you can imagine, this will not be an easy task for me. I'm a young girl that has been so tuned in to what society screams, that the very idea of going against the grain feels like thrusting myself into a situation completely unknown. And I don't know the outcome.
I imagine it's almost like skydiving.
In that moment you jump from that plane, you are solely trusting on one thing. That the parachute will open and you will land safely. Your feet leave the edge of the plane where you know you are safe and suddenly you're falling into the unknown. The noise, the pressure, the view; everything changes in that very moment. It's scary. It's thrilling. It's an unforgettable rush. And not only that, but it's beautiful.
Image from http://7-themes.com/6881767-skydiving-wallpaper.html
That is how this new journey feels for me. I've sat in this plane that's guided me from one fad attempt to the next. This atmosphere is natural to me. I feel safe there. But I'm missing out on the joy of loving who I am. I've played the part of a person that isn't even remotely close to who I truly am. I've changed my hair, my clothes... I've done workouts to try to become a skinny girl who would be accepted as someone beautiful... But the outcome stayed the same.
I stayed disgusted with my appearance. I wouldn't dare look a single person in the eyes for the fear that I would catch glimpse of their ill thoughts toward me. I was insecure, lonely and striving for acceptance. And I would stop at nothing to get it.
Sound familiar? This mindset is the norm for many people in this day in age. We all strive to fit in and reach this impossible standard that society has brought before us. The perfect figure, teeth, hair... Everything has to be this masterpiece of perfection.
Research shows the effect that advertising in the fashion and beauty industries has on women. Advertisements of unrealistic images of beauty via photo-shopped images and computer-inhanced models has left women feeling inadequate. It has resulted in anxiety, low self-confidence and self-esteem.
This has not only damaged women's comprehension of the definition of beauty, but it's also robbed them billions of dollars in attempt to keep up with all of the costly fads and cosmetics.
This is more than just a struggle for mature women. It's also being forced upon our daughters and younger generations. Starting at a young age, girls are pressured to experiment with makeup to try to "boost" their attractiveness. This usually works as a temporary increase in their "attractiveness." It's a very appealing theory to most women because it can be quickly applied and tends to be inexpensive compared to more drastic measures other women take. Such as diets, exercise and cosmetic surgeries. Cosmetics are an 'easy way' to measure up to standards of beauty enforced by the screams of society.
Society's screams have caused many young girls and women to face depression and even develop health issues such as eating disorders. This brings forth an unhealthy habit of starving their body of nutrients so that they can look at their body in the mirror with a warped pleasure of what the meaning of beauty is.
A report released from by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reveals that the suicide rate in women and young girls steadily continues to climb. While the reasons are not specified, the numbers are alarming.
You can read about that here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/05/suicide-rate-
girls_n_6813068.html And here: http://www.scienceworldreport.com/articles/23093/20150307/suicide-rates-among-girls-young-women-alarmingly-increasing.htm
Another terrifying reality is that low self-esteem and domestic violence go hand-in-hand in most cases. Where a low self-esteem is present, it manifests an acceptance for abuse. One article states:
"Contrary to popular belief, in order to tolerate domestic violence one has to already have had low self-esteem. It is reasonable to think that persons with low self-esteem tend to have chaotic relationships. Their subconscious belief of unworthiness leads to the avoidance of those who truly care; instead gravitating to chaotic relationships that leave them deeply psychologically and developmentally scared–greatly hampering the building and maintenance of healthy relationships.Belongingness and knowing that one is loved are basic needs of all people. Persons with low self-esteem are insecure and their self images are often clouded by inaccurate information from their abusers. They base their decision-making on such misinformation in an attempt to satisfy their overwhelming need for their abuser’s approval. Unfortunately, too often people with low self-esteem choose partners who are similar to those from whom their low self-esteem originated." - http://bknation.org/2013/10/domestic-violence-self-esteem/
However, self-esteem cannot fight off abuse alone. Even women with high self-esteem can be greatly affected by domestic violence. But it's likely a woman with a better self-image will have the confidence to leave a situation where there is abuse.
Whereas women with low self-esteem feel they cannot do better than the situation they are in. This obviously makes them far less likely to leave the relationship. They lack the confidence to stand up for themselves and end up staying in a deadly situation.
Study on behaviors of domestic violence offenders show that they tend to prey on women who have a low self-esteem, acknowledging that the victim will want and need them no matter what they do to them. This is an incredibly dangerous situation on all accounts and the idea of it terrifies me. It makes me ache for those who face situations like this.
I'm going to step out of my comfort zone here. I'm going to be completely honest and vulnerable with you. The past few months, I've fought a violent depression due to my view on my appearance. I've seen all of these movie stars and models who have these bodies so highly praised by the media, then I look at my body.
Pale, pudgy, ordinary. I've let society's screams warp my definition of what beauty is. I've fought and failed to try to reach those impossible standards of what society will accept as beautiful. I've faced the rejection and the judging glares. I've been left alone and felt like giving up on everything.
All until God changed my perspective.
This morning when I looked in the mirror, I muted the way society thinks of my appearance and I tried to catch a glimpse of how God sees me. I prayed that He would help open my eyes to truth on how I should perceive myself. And when I met my reflection, I nearly burst into tears.
Good tears.
It was a funny sight, I imagine. My hair was frizzy and defying gravity, my face was red from how I slept on it, my eyes were droopy and encircled with dark shadows. It was in that moment it felt like someone wrapped their arms around me and whispered in my ear...
You're beautiful.
This society wouldn't accept how I looked in that moment. I would've been viewed as an imperfect mess. Yet, God not only accepted me in that moment... But He wrapped me in His love and gave me comfort.
You should have seen the smile that spread across my face!
This caused me to challenge myself. If this perfect God can accept me, in all of my "flaws" and insecurities, why can't I? What gives society the right to rob me of the joy of being the person God created me to be? I've allowed society's screams to overpower the positive voices that tried to break through to me for so many years.
So, as I begin this challenge, I also extend the challenge to you. Look in the mirror, pray for God to open your eyes to see the beautiful, perfect person you are! Those "flaws" that society scream negatively about, God gave you. He doesn't make mistakes.
Those freckles that spread across your nose that you hate so much, He gave you. Those brown eyes you just can't stand, He gave you. All of the things that you reject because it doesn't line up with society's standards, He gave you.
So I pray as you join me on this journey, that our eyes be opened to the truth that we are perfect in God's eyes. We aren't unworthy of love. We won't always feel lonely. We don't have to spend our lives chasing after society's standards.
We will learn how to accept ourselves. We will learn to love our "flaws."
We will know a happiness that no make-up, diet or exercise could ever give.
We will look in the mirror with joyful tears and a smile that shines brighter than the sun at the realization...
We are beautiful.
Image source - https://nothingbutdollsonstrings.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/girl-with-obscured-face.jpg
Follow Me on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/silencingsociety?pnref=story
Suggested Reads:
- The Beauty Industry's Influence on Women in Society - http://scholars.unh.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1085&context=honors
- The Impact of the Media on Eating Disorders in Children and Adolescents - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2792687/
- Domestic Violence and Low Self-Esteem - http://womensissues.about.com/od/domesticviolence/a/DomesticViolenceSelfEsteem.htm
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